Yesterday would have been Bernie’s 67th birthday. They say that the “firsts” are the hardest and this was one of those hard days for me, but I also was able to celebrate his life with other people who loved him and miss him. I had dinner with dear friends Jess and Gwen last night it was wonderful to share stories about him.

I know that people are often unsure of what to say to me. They worry that if they mention Bernie’s name that it will make me sad. Bernie’s absence is always on my mind so talking about him brings me a great deal of joy, and maybe sometimes tears, but that’s okay. I love hearing his name and having people mention him and share their stories.

Last weekend I flew to Boston and attended a Celebration of Life event with Bernie’s siblings and extended family at a lovely restaurant in Quincy that overlooked the harbor. There were 40 plus people in attendance – many cousins and other family members. I was very touched by the love and affection that permeated the room. Many people mentioned that Bernie had a sweet, giving nature, even as a boy. I realized that it was important for his family, who couldn’t travel to California, to mark his passing and acknowledge his life. It meant a lot to me to be with them. We showed the slide show and people mentioned that it was nice to get a glimpse of Bernie’s life since he had moved to California.

It was wonderful to spend time with Bernie’s immediate family, who I consider my family too. We gathered at Julie and Jim’s for meals and also an Oscars party, complete with four different kinds of ice cream (my favorite dessert). My pup Chica was a big hit and enjoyed wrestling with Uncle Jim. It was comforting to be amongst family and to share in the great love and loss of someone so special and dear to all of us.

Bernie on his birthday in 2022

On Priscilla Beach last Sunday in Plymouth with my two brothers-in-law (and Chica in a pouch).