I want to say first off that I’m so appreciative of all the love, care and support I’ve been receiving. So many people have reached out in one way or the other and I feel very cared for and held up. I’ve lost both parents, my brothers, and a close friend and losing Bernie is definitely in a class all by itself. My grief is bigger than I can really fathom, and I know I can’t do it alone. I’m especially grateful that I’ve learned to cultivate a spiritual life that gives me hope that I can do this, one day at a time, without falling completely to pieces.

I have availed myself to all support offered. Kaiser has been wonderful – calling me and sending me information about grief resources. I joined an online grief group and have some plans to take advantage of some other services. I do things I enjoy including playing Pickleball, getting together with friends and playing with my new silly puppy named Chica.

I like to think that Chica was a gift from Bernie. His caretaker Jazmin was really wonderful. She showed up a few days after Bernie’s passing to pick up her final check. She brought her new puppy Osito with her. I admired the puppy and she said that there were “more puppies”. I said absolutely NOT, I can’t even think about getting another dog, much less a puppy. She said okay but then she sent me photos. She knew better than I did what my heart needed.

When I saw the little black and white Chihuahua puppy with spotted paws, I immediately knew she was meant to be my dog. She looks just like my dog Chico that I had as a kid. Chico also rescued me during a difficult time and Chica has filled a big void in my life. She’s hilarious, smart and quite a cuddle-bug. Even fifteen year old Sunny has perked up quite a bit and the three of us make quite a threesome on our walks. Chica thinks that everything she sees and everyone she meets is the best thing ever.